The best way to ensure your little one isn’t reaching an overtired zone is to watch for sleepy cues. If they seem to zone out, have glazed-over eyes and don’t seem interested in playing — or even interested in you — those are the signs that your baby is ready for sleep. Photo courtesy of Getty Images
Sleep is essential for everyone, but it can be incredibly challenging for babies and young children. Three certified sleep consultants offer their expert advice on how to help get your little ones to the place where they — and you — can sleep through the night.
Sarah Bossio
Certified Pediatric Sleep Consultant
Your Zen Baby Sleep,
Roseland
Nicole Cannon
Certified Infant and Child Sleep Consultant
Sleepy Mama Sleep Consulting
Cranbury,
Emily Neiman
Certified Pediatric Sleep Consultant
Olive You Sleep
Verona,
Never underestimate the magic of an early bedtime. Sarah Bossio noted that scientific research has discovered that the ideal bedtime range for children between the ages of 4 months and 6 years old is between 6 and 8 p.m. Sometime after 8 p.m. if our children are not asleep yet, their bodies go into fight-or-flight mode and switch on their awake hormones, cortisol and adrenaline. This creates the perfect storm for an overtired and wired child who can have difficulty falling asleep. Ensuring we aim for an early bedtime helps with bedtime resistance and middle-of-the-night wakings — and can also solve pesky early-morning wakings!
Look at your baby’s sleep schedule. Emily Neiman said that if your baby is fighting sleep or waking up about 45 minutes after falling asleep, overtiredness could be a contributing factor. Did your baby skip a nap or have a short nap? If so, it can help to offer an early bedtime. The sleep in the first half of the night is deep and restorative, so we want to give babies as much opportunity as possible for them to catch those extra deep sleep cycles. This will help make sure sleep debt doesn’t start to build. The best way to ensure your little one isn’t reaching an overtired zone is to watch for sleepy cues. If they seem to zone out, have glazed-over eyes and don’t seem interested in playing — or even interested in you — those are the signs that your baby is ready for sleep. If they are cranky, fussy, crying and screaming, it means they are overtired, and sleep will be much more challenging.
Consider their biological sleep schedule. If you’re struggling with your child’s naps and have been trying to follow wake windows, their body may need a more consistent sleep schedule that capitalizes on their sweet spot of sleep, Bossio said. This sweet spot is when our body produces sleepy hormones, melatonin and adenosine. Science tells us that once the circadian rhythms are developed at 4 months old, this happens three times per day — around 8:30-9 a.m., noon-1 p.m., and 3:30-4:30 p.m. Offering naps according to their body’s biological clock may work better for your child than using wake windows.
Create a calming sleep space. Keep the bedroom slightly cool (around 70 degrees), use a white noise machine, remove any toy or object that’s overly stimulating, and keep the room dark, Nicole Cannon said. Neiman agreed that the best way to help your little one stay asleep is to make sure the room is pitch black. She suggested purchasing blackout curtains and using painter’s tape to tape down the sides of your curtains to help keep the sun from getting through. If you can’t get your hands on blackout curtains, try covering the windows with a light-blocking film.
Provide a consistent learning environment. Being consistent with all naps, bedtimes and night wakings for at least one to two weeks will help to solidify their new independent sleep skills, reduce the overall protest, and set your child up for long-term success, Bossio said.
Modify your sleep method. Sleep training does not mean crying it out, Bossio explained. While this method can be used, there are several other ways to teach healthy sleep while supporting your child. She has found that every child learns differently, and every family teaches differently. It’s important to find a method that you feel comfortable teaching while reading your child’s cues to ensure your chosen program is the best learning method. If you are experiencing a lot of protest and minimal progress, consider switching to a different plan to accommodate your child’s learning style.
Follow the 80/20 rule for sleep. When planning your week, try to follow your sleep schedules and environment at least 80% of the time. The other 20% of the time, feel free to have your child skip a nap, have a late bedtime or sleep on the go. Bossio said that if your child has a solid sleep foundation, teaching them flexibility is essential to make healthy sleep a sustainable part of your family’s ecosystem.
Do what works for your family. Cannon said that while some families want to rock their babies to sleep, others want to put them down awake and walk out of the room. Some parents want their children to sleep on a bed in their parents’ room, while others want their children in their own room. There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to sleep, so as long as it works for your family, that’s the best thing you can do.
ASK THE EXPERTS
My baby is starting daycare. Will their sleep be ruined?
It’s completely OK to feel like your baby’s sleep may not be the same at daycare as at home, said Neiman, noting that it’s a different environment with new people and lots of activity and stimulation. She said there are still ways to be sure your baby is set up for sleep success at daycare, suggesting first talking to your daycare provider about your ideal nap schedule. If a part of your pre-nap routine is easy enough, such as singing a particular song, see if they can do that. Second, if quality naps don’t happen during the day, aim for an early bedtime that night. This will give your baby more deep, restorative sleep cycles to make up for what was missed. If the daycare schedule differs from what works for your baby, offer your regular schedule on the weekends or days your baby isn’t at daycare. This will help prevent sleep debt from building up.
We have an upcoming vacation. How will my baby sleep in a completely different place?
Neiman said that two of the best ways to help your little one sleep in a new place are to mirror the at-home sleep environment as best as possible and keep the same bedtime routine you do at home. Consider the sleeping arrangements before booking your stay. If your baby is used to sleeping in their room, try to book accommodations with a separate living space. Even a large closet that fits a travel crib could work. Next, pack what you’ll need to do to mimic the home environment: your sound machine, crib sheet that smells like home, and anything your baby uses to help with self-soothing, like a pacifier. When it’s time for sleep, follow your regular routine step-by-step to help signal to your baby that it will soon be time to sleep. Be sure to bring books you usually read and sing the songs you typically sing. If a bath is part of your routine, you can bring their soap. The familiar sights, sounds and smells will help cue sleep time. Neiman also said it’s important to remember a vacation should be for enjoying family time and relaxing (not for revolving all of your plans around your child’s naps). It’s OK if sleep gets off track while traveling. When you get home, settle back into your groove with your normal sleep environment, routine and schedules, and things should fall back into place.
This article originally appeared in the Winter 2023 issue of Jersey’s Best. Subscribe here for in-depth access to everything that makes the Garden State great.
