'Everywhere I turn, I'm confronted by death': Life and loss on display at overdose vigil

They gathered at the plaza outside City Hall, with a warm, dry breeze blowing on a late August afternoon.

They came to celebrate life, and to remember friends and family members who will never again feel the sunshine or look forward to a colorful New England autumn.

The speakers who came to the podium struggled with emotion, but their message was clear: in the struggle against substance use disorder, there's still a lot of work to do.

The occasion was the annual International Overdose Awareness Day Vigil and Walk, held Aug. 31 by the city with several health agency partners. The event was marked with the reading aloud of names, lighting of candles, prayers, songs, and a moment of silence, followed by a walk to Peace Park, the site of a substance use memorial.

The vigil honors International Overdose Awareness Day, a worldwide effort to raise awareness of overdose, overdose sufferers, and those who care about them.

'Lucky to be alive'

A prevailing theme in this year's vigil: Don't let substance use patients fight alone. The overdose-reversal drug, naloxone, known by the brand Narcan, is credited with saving many lives, but a user could still die in solitude with an unused Narcan dispenser if unable to adminster it.

Speakers included those who have seen both sides: those with a history of substance use disorder, now working in the health profession to help others.

One of them was Stephen Murray, harm reduction program manager at Boston Medical Center. "This year, we supervised 500 separate-use events," said Murray. "Just this morning, on the way in to Boston, we reversed our fifth overdose."

Murray said, "There is not a single person here who has not been touched by overdose in some way. I myself am a multiple overdose survivor, and consider myself lucky to be alive today."

Both at work, and in his personal life, Murray said, "Everywhere I turn, I'm confronted by death." Murray noted that overdose is only one way people with substance use disorder can die, and said fatal outcomes can include suicide, domestic violence, and cancer. "These losses cripple me, and also drive me to work harder."

Even as substance use disorder and overdose have become a greater part of public discussion, new ideas and debate persist among communities, healthcare professionals, emergency responders, those with substance use disorder and the people who care about them.

Thinking 'outside the box'

One recurring message was a plea to keep those with substance use disorder from keeping their use a secret, which they said can increase the risk of a fatal overdose.

"We have to start thinking outside the box. We've got to start thinking about a new approach," said Michael Earielo, program director of Every Day Miracles Peer Recovery Support Center. "Other cities, other states, we've got to see what they're doing, why they are successful, and we are not." One helpful move said Earielo, might be so-called safety injection spots, supervised substance-use sites, which prompted applause from many in the gathering.

Some speakers strove to give voice to loved ones no longer here to speak for themselves. Several people clustered around the podium, holding pictures of smiling faces, moments captured in time. Those holding the photos represented The Sun Will Rise Foundation, which offers grief support for loss due to substance use.

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Amid illness, helping others

Aileen Lovejoy, a local support group coordinator, held a photo of her son, Francis, who died at age 41. "Yes, he had the disease of addiction. When he was using, he became another person, unrecognizeable. When he was not using, he was the Francis we knew and loved, the one with a kind heart, with compassion for others."

Although he died as a result of substance use, Lovejoy said her son still managed to help others fighting the same disorder. "People have come to our resource table in the past, and shared how he helped get them into recovery," said Lovejoy, who noted a post on Francis' Facebook profile, from a friend who said, "I am hoping you're watching, and seeing the man I became with your help."

Her voice quaking, fellow support group member Stephanie Lehane talked about her son, Ryan, who died at 37, following a 17-year battle with substance use. "Just know that he was my son. H was my best friend, and I miss him every single day, and I wish there was not a stigma about the whole disease when he was going through it."

When he died, Lehane became part of a growing number of family members who chose to state his cause of death publicly in an annoucement. "If it meant just one person saw it, and it meant something, it would mean the world to him," Lehane said. On the day of his death, Lehane said he told her: "I wish we weren't anonymous"....Three hours later, he was gone."

Lovejoy and other support group members released butterflies as symbols of spirits flying free. Some of the butterflies flew away, but some clustered in pairs on the plaza floor. They were ferried to safety by some at the vigil, including a Worcester Magazine reporter.

By the numbers

Advocates for substance use treatment and prevention note numbers showing victories and a public health crisis that continues to exact a terrible toll.

In a press release, UMass Memorial Health, which was set to hold a separate vigil on Aug. 31, cited Department of Public Health data showing a 2.5% rise in the death rate in 2022, with 33.5 deathes per 100,000 people.

This number is compared to 2021, with a death rate of 32.7 per 100,000, and a 9.1% increase, compared to the pre-pandemic peak in 2016. "Worcester was particularly hard hit with a 33.3% increase in the number of deaths in 2022 (140 lives lost) compared to the year prior (105 lives lost in 2021)."

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'Keep her in your hearts'

Many who lost loved ones to substance use described not only death, but people who had lived full lives.

A member of The Sun Will Rise ,Theresa Buccico, told the story ofone of them.

In English and Spanish, Buccico described Selina Quinones, who died at age 31, leaving behind three children under the age of 10. "This month, only a few days ago, she would have celebrated her 42nd birthday," Buccico said. "Selina lived and worked in the community over a decade ... Selina is a missed wife, mom, daughter, niece, aunt, cousin, and friend."

To those who love and remember her, especially her children, Buccico said, "Keep her in your hearts, and as you carry on the best parts of her."

More info: Call the Massachusetts Overdose Prevention Helpline, at 800-972-0590.