STATEN ISLAND, N.Y. — Cynthia and Jasmine Mora of Mariners Harbor always knew they wanted a family. But after the couple faced fertility problems, they began to research different agencies with the hope of becoming foster parents.
“We immediately began researching different agencies and found Children’s Aid and began the classes,” recalled Cynthia Mora, who has been a licensed foster parent with Children’s Aid with her wife since 2019. “So I guess us wanting to start a family — and we weren’t able to do that, naturally, on our own at the moment. We definitely welcomed the idea of having children in our home and providing a loving and caring environment for them. Creating our own family.”
Children’s Aid’s foster care program places children with supportive families in their own neighborhood when their parents cannot offer them the stability, safety and support they need to thrive.
The Moras attended classes for approximately six months through the non-profit, traveling to and from Manhattan to learn about the ins and outs of parenting and becoming a foster family. After receiving a license to foster, the couple was called within a few months to take in two children who needed care from another foster home, where the foster parent was on emergency medical leave.
But by July 2019, their whole world would change. Children’s Aid called about a newborn who needed placement. Caiden Mora, now 3 years old, has been with the family ever since and was adopted in July this year.
“We had Caiden throughout the whole process, throughout the whole pandemic, and Caiden was only a few months old,” recalled Cynthia Mora. “He was the only baby in our home during the pandemic. I know despite the events that occurred and everyone was quarantined, there was just so much going on … I felt like it was a great time to actually be home with the baby. And I saw his different milestones while staying home and also working from home, which was great -- and I was able to be there 24/7. So it was a great experience having a little baby growing up during the pandemic. He was able to develop even a stronger bond with us, because both parents were at home full time.”
“He was the only baby in our home during the pandemic … I felt like it was a great time to actually be home with the baby. And I saw his different milestones while staying home and also working from home, which was great -- and I was able to be there 24/7," recalled Cynthia Mora about her time spent with Caiden before he was adopted. (Steve White for the Staten island Advance)
INCREASED NEED ON STATEN ISLAND
The Moras are just some of the foster parents on Staten Island that open their home to children. Over the last few years, there has been an increased need for foster parents on Staten Island — especially due to the opioid epidemic and the coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic.
“We’ve lost some homes, and I think COVID has been an unfortunate part on that in many other things in recruiting new foster parents,” said Brittany Spennato, site director of Staten Island Family Services Center for Children’s Aid. “And additionally, the opioid epidemic on the Island continues to be a major problem. As a result, we are getting a lot of babies who are needing placements. But also what happens is, we are in dire need of placements for our teens.”
Children’s Aid explained that it’s looking for Staten Island families to open their home and provide children with a safe and loving environment.
“When a child enters into foster care, so much change comes with that,” explained Spennato. “And so the more things that we can keep constant for them, like their community, the easier it is to transition into a foster home. Staten Island is unique in a lot of ways … I think that for many people who were born on the Island, people tend to stay on the Island, or prefer to stay on the Island. I think that for many of our children, they are often put in a position where they don’t want to leave and they have to.”
And if there is not a recruited foster home available on Staten Island, children are moved to other boroughs, causing even further disruptions in a child’s life. They lose their home, their school, their friends and their community.
“On top of losing their home environment, they lose access to these supporters [at school] that otherwise they would have had, and that happens quite a lot on Staten Island,” said Maciel Gutierrez, recruitment coordinator at Children’s Aid.
IMPACT ON A CHILD’S LIFE
The need for foster homes for teens is even higher, as they are typically labeled as difficult to place. On top of feelings of trauma, abandonment, or neglect, teenagers feel as though there is no one willing to care for them.
“As a result, going off-borough and with that, their whole lives change,” said Spennato. “If they had friends on Staten Island, it’s harder to see them — if they have family here. Most of our cases start out in Staten Island, meaning that someone within the family unit was probably on the Island at some point. So it could even make parent-child visitation more challenging, which could impact reunification, if that’s the goal at the time.”
And leaving their school is a big factor. It’s a social network, Spennato said — allowing students to feel connected with their peers, teachers and administration — while also leaving behind a community, activities and sports.
For some kids, it’s not realistic for them to stay in their current school if they spend too much time traveling.
BECOMING A FOSTER PARENT
“We’re really looking for people who will treat our children like their own, who would be able to give them stability and love, and just so they could be well-balanced individually,” said Spennato. “Participate in recreational activities, go on vacations, whatever it is ... each child has unique needs, and just to make sure that their uniqueness is being rewarded, and you know that they’ll flourish in whatever environment that they’re in.”
According to Gutierrez, Children’s Aid supports foster parents every step of the way — through the recruitment process, training, onboarding, certification and beyond.
During orientations, interested foster families learn how and why children come into the foster-care system. Children can be as young as a few months old up to 18 years old. Children are typically placed in a foster home in their borough with access to their current school and community.
“To remove them from that borough and access to that community, that support — it’s another loss right on top, compounded by these other losses, so there’s a huge need, and whenever I get a prospective applicant from Staten Island, I jump on that call to make sure that we try to get them to foster with us,” said Gutierrez.
She explained she hopes to help prospective families make an informed and empowered decision. They learn about real-life case studies, stories and experiences from foster parents and children.
Cynthia Mora praised the support and communication provided by Children’s Aid as she and her wife remain foster parents. She noted that it’s up to each individual and their lifestyle, and if they have the ability to provide care and love to a child.
“I feel like this process has helped me build my family, and it also helped my wife and I just see things differently,” said Cynthia Mora, pictured here with her son Caiden and wife Jasmine. (Steve White for the Staten Island Advance)
REWARDING EXPERIENCE
The Moras said the most rewarding part of the process for them was being able to add Caiden as a permanent part of the family and “give him a wonderful home and provide love support, guidance and great parenting.”
“I feel like this process has helped me build my family, and it also helped my wife and I just see things differently,” said Cynthia Mora. “We were able to be the best that we can be. At first it was a little scary, because we weren’t sure what to expect out of this process. We weren’t sure if we would get a child who is, say 10 years old, or even a teenager. You’re opening your door to any child who needs placement. And you don’t know what the outcome can be like. So it helped us to take it day by day, because we don’t know if the goal is reunification with the family. And we just support whatever the outcome will be.”
She added: “You have to have a great positive mindset. And just be ready to understand that there are different things that can take place, but we just leave it in God’s hands and wish for the best.”
If a parent is interested in opening their home to a foster child, Gutierrez invites them to be open to the experience.
“A a foster parent, they have an immense capacity to help our children not just survive but hopefully someday thrive, is what I often say,” she explained. “It starts with providing them with a stable and loving nurturing home, and that’s a family decision. They can’t just decide for their kids or their pets, like everybody needs to be included in that process. Then we’re here to support them through it, because it definitely takes a community — just like when you’re a parent, like child care, and all like it takes a community of people and support.”
The Moras said the most rewarding part of the process for them was being able to add Caiden as a permanent part of the family and “give him a wonderful home and provide love support, guidance and great parenting.” (Steve White for the Staten Island Advance)
If you are interested in becoming a foster parent, or want to learn more, you can call Children’s Aid at 332-600-3173 or 212-949-4905. Families can also complete a Children’s Aid Foster Parent application at https://family.binti.com/users/signup/new-york-childrens-aid-initial, or visit Children’s Aid’s website at www.childrensaidnyc.org for more information.
“As a foster parent, they have us to support them. They’re part of a team. And they definitely have the opportunity to change a child’s life,” said Gutierrez.
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