Shame: It’s the bully of emotions. We all experience situations at work where shame can creep in. For example, when you’ve engaged in a faux pas at the office, or got some negative feedback from your boss, or have been laid off, it can leave you feeling self-conscious to the point where you want to disappear. That can be a living nightmare and, worse, it can lead to a life less lived. Shame can bring you into a spiral that descends into an enduring sense of unworthiness. It is, arguably, a more painful emotion than guilt, which tends to occur when you experience regret about an action. Shame, on the other hand, involves negative feelings about yourself.
Free Yourself from Shame at Work
We’ve all had situations that have caused us to feel shame at work. Maybe you got a bad review from your boss, or you dropped the ball on a project, or you got laid off. Feelings of shame can send us into a spiral of despair, creating a sense of unworthiness. But shame isn’t entirely bad. Emotions like guilt and shame can inspire you to change for the better, like when you’ve caused someone pain and feel remorse. It’s human nature to crave connection, and shame can motivate you to act in ways that link you more closely to your community. But when we feel ashamed, we often want to hide, and the combination of self-isolation and feeling badly can lead to a range of emotional problems, including social anxiety, substance abuse, self-harm, and a lessened ability to generate solutions. This article offers five tools used by clinical psychologists to deal with shame more effectively so that you can show up for your life and your work as your best self.